Big Jokes

By GARY VARGAS

Telecom History

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Japanese scientists found traces of copper wire dating back to 1000 years. They concluded that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

In the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and headlines in the US papers read: “US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers. They concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Japanese”.

One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following: “After digging as deep as 500 meters, Filipino scientists have found absolutely nothing.”

They concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology “.

Pinoy Contractor Abroad

Three contractors were bidding to fix the White House fence. One from the Philippines, another from Mexico and an American. They went with a White House official to examine the fence.

The American contractor took out a tape measure and did some measuring... then worked some figures with a pencil. Well,” he said, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for labor and $100 profit for me.”

The Mexican contractor also did some measuring and figuring, then said,” I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for labor and $100 profit for me.”

The Filipino contractor did not measure or figure out, but leaned over to the White House official and whispered: “$2,700.”

The official, incredulously, said, “What? You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid?? “Easy,” the Pinoy explained, “$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Mexico”. The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican started working on the fence.

The Difference

Q. What’s the difference between corruption in the US and

corruption in the Philippines ?
A. In the U.S., they go to jail. In the Philippines, they go to the U.S.

Q. What’s the difference among former Presidents Cory, Gloria and Erap?
A. Cory can’t tell a lie; Gloria can’t tell the truth; and Erap can’t tell the difference.

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidensiya, saksi o pinag- hihinalaan, ano na po ang susunod na hakbang ninyo?
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: Sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: “Di Namin Alam!!!” /MP