Filipino caregivers exude this characteristic because most of us really know how to take care of our own elderly. Of course, there are some who hope to find luck while taking care of a well-off elderly and be rewarded for what they have done. That is not only true of Filipinos but of other nationalities as well.
It did not occur to me, however, that he would reward me with anything because he was too frugal. But one day, Edward asked me if I wanted to receive a monthly allowance from him or include me in his will.
I told him to just put me in his will. I was not one to decline his offer. Alangan namang tanggihan ko di ba? [I would be a hypocrite if I said no.] He did not know he had left as much as $2.5 million when he died. He gave me 25 percent of the inheritance while he gave the rest to charity.
He Releases Gas
OF COURSE, a lot of caregivers hope to be rewarded for their services. Almost everyone wants that to happen. But not all elderly give allowances to their caregivers; it’s for them or their family to decide.
If one is a caregiver, he/she must be sincere and patient since the elderly already have memory lapses. They get easily irritated and are lonely most of the time. Sometimes, to make Edward happy, I cooked chicken adobo. He called it “bobo.” It became his favorite dish.
Other Filipino dishes he learned to love and which I cooked for him were pancit bihon, lumpiang shanghai, and sinigang. Edward’s staple food was a small serving of rice or oatmeal in the morning and steamed chicken and beans during full meals.
One time after a full meal of beans, he wanted to cut a branch of a tree on his front yard. I was behind, holding onto his belt to keep him steady while he climbed a ladder. And then he released gas.
I almost dropped him. I still fed Edward beans but his tree-branch cutting days were over. Still, caregiving is easier than office work where one have to be early everyday, dress up, rush things, and spend for transportation.
In my experience, caregivers need only to go to their workplace and leave after a week. It’s a practical and financially-rewarding job. Of course, there are sacrifices. A caregiver can only be with his/her family during weekends. The most one can do is call them. I go to work on Monday mornings and I go home on Saturday mornings.
He Knows He Will Die Soon
EDWARD might have known he would die soon as his physical condition worsened. His lungs had been retaining water. He had congested heart failure. He had cancer on the skin and face.
He must have felt his time was nearing when we were cleaning his sister’s grave. Soon after, we arranged everything for his burial. The costs for the burial were also included in his will.
We could not go to church on Sundays anymore. In his last days, the priest would come by the house everyday to give him communion. I saw him through his deathbed.
Edward died at the age of 89 at his home, where he wanted to be.
Coincidentally, my husband Gary was rushed to the hospital for appendicitis at the time Edward breathed his last. I could not be there for my husband because no one else was there to take care of Edward’s funeral.
Gary, with the care of my in-laws, recuperated without me by his side. He got out of the hospital just when Edward was about to be buried. Edward’s lawyer told me I received 25 percent of what he left behind. I didn’t know then how much he had or if he was rich because he held on to money with closed fist.
He Holds Money
WHEN I got the money Edward left me in 2003, I was surprised. It was worth P30 million. The money was that much by October of that year, I was able to buy five houses in Sacramento, California, and put them up on the market for lease.
When Edward was still alive, he wanted to give me his house. “Do you like this house?” he once asked me. “It’s up to you,” I replied. But his lawyer said the “will” was already done. “Besides, whatever you provided her would be enough for her to buy her own house,” his lawyer added.
I didn’t insist, I felt it was wrong for me to aspire for more. What Edward gave me was really more than enough. His house, worth $0.575 million, was liquidated and the rest of his money went to his church and other charity groups.
I consider myself really, really lucky that after all the hardships, Edward came into my life so suddenly. Although things did not come easy working for him, he gave me a good life.
I can help my family now. I can send my nieces and nephews to prestigious private schools. I can give my daughters a good life when I, myself, grew up in hard times. I never thought of owning houses in the US because I never even had a house of my own in the Philippines.
My mother used to wash clothes for a living and my father was an employee, so I have never experienced studying in a private school either. I have my two duplexes rented and earning well; the same with the two other houses. We are living in my third house.
Real estate prices, however, have gone down because of the recession. As the US dollar weakened, some tenants have been causing me problems since they pay late unless I charge them 5 percent penalty for the delay. MY time will come. I am 40 and my husband is 49. I still need to work hard for my family.
Yes, we are workaholics. My husband and I flew here in the Philippines together but he’s already back to work after a week stay. Our three daughters –Hazel, 19, my daughter from a previous relationship, and Princess, 13, and Reyna, 12, Gary’s daughters from his previous relationship– are used to not having us around the house. I’m usually out for 12 straight days. I also have a child patient who is dying of cancer of the lymph node. He is 14 years old. I have been helping in his medication since 2006.
When my mother is not with my children, we pay $50 a day care for the kids near where we live. I may build a foundation in Edward’s name for the education of street children in the Philippines. Maybe I can do that when my children, nieces, and nephews are done with their schooling. I still work because I help my siblings send their sons and daughters to school. All in all, I help send 14 students to private schools. The eldest of my scholars is in college while the rest are in grade schools and high schools. Supporting them financially for their education is the help I can give them. I advised all of them to take up nursing because that’s where the money is.
I would have wanted to study again and enroll in nursing but I am already doing so many things. So I just enrolled in a Certified Nursing Assistant course which is a step higher than caregiving.
If I completed CNA, I can work in a field nursing facility such as a nursing home and take care of six to eight patients. The salary is higher but the job is much harder. Itong liit kong ito lalo akong liliit. (I bet I’d get even smaller if I do the work of a CNA.) A caregiver is allowed to take care of one elderly. It’s a lighter load than a CNA’s but still earns big.
Job and money are always there for caregivers because the US will never run out of old people who need care. Today I’m living a good life, but I’m still a caregiver. /MP
