Cleopatra May Offer ‘Call Girls’ Decent Pay

by ALEX P. Vidal

A coffeeshop in front of SM Delgado in the City Proper in Iloilo City has become the most favorite meeting place of "call girls" and their male clients (the most frequent and prominent customer is known as "Maw Tsetung," a bemoustached Chinese trader in his 60’s. He owns shops in the Mary Mart Mall. He hires two girls simultaneously like a chess player for an overnight tournament).

Most of these "pink" ladies are high school and college students and don’t have regular pap smear tests as required for those working in prostitution houses in Rizal Estanzuela, Timawa, Calumpang, Baluarte, Jaro, among other notorious "red barangays" in the metropolis. They have no pimps and their services are hired directly and openly like commodities sold in "tiangge" or kiosk.

If the city task force against anti-pornography, prostitution and lewd shows is really bent on clamping down on these illegal transactions, all it has to do is visit those places from one o’clock in the afternoon until 10 o’clock in the evening. Even malnourished-looking girls approach lolo "Maw Tsetung" for "tuition" and "text load."

QUEEN

Going back to the year 41 B.C., let’s look in on Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. This was a few years after the assassination of Julius Caesar. A civil war followed between Caesar’s killers, Brutus and Cassius, and Caesar’s avengers, Octavius and Mark Antony.　

The few independent kingdoms left in the world were in a bad fix. They were always in a bad fix when civil war broke out in Rome. They weren’t interested in either side. In fact, they would have loved to see both sides destroy each other, but they could not remain neutral. They had to pick one side and hope to high heaven that they had guessed right.

Now in this civil war after Caesar’s assassination, they all guessed wrong. This was understandable. Octavius (who later became Emperor Augustus) was a young boy, hardly more than 17 years old, and Antony, the handsomest man in Rome, spent most of their time with dancing girls and having one big time for himself.

Therefore, everybody picked Brutus and Cassius, two experienced generals and particularly sober men, temperate in all things except in the study of politics and philosophy. How could they miss? But they did miss! Young Octavius and Mark (wine-women-and-songs) Antony beat their brains out. Now for the payoff, Octavius and Antony divided the world with a third party who did not count for much.

COLLECTION

Antony took the East, and the first thing he did was start on a collection tour. Collecting fines and taxes from these independent states and kingdoms that had picked the losers. He was doing fine, real fine. Antony showed an amazing understanding of world politics. He assessed the people over a long term—so much a year, instead of crippling their economy and productivity with a huge lump-sum fine.

His next stop was Cleopatra. She, too, had sent some assistance to help Brutus and Cassius, figuring that she was on the winning side. Antony pulled up at the city of Tarsus, and sent word to the Queen of Egypt to present herself to him so that he might pass judgment.

Cleopatra came, but on her own time. While Antony sat on the throne in the Forum of Tarsus waiting for Cleopatra to plead her case and be judged, she was sailing up the River Cydnus, "in a barge with purple sails, gilded stern, and silver oars to beat time to the music of flutes and fifes and harps. Her maids, dressed as sea nymphs, were the crew, while she herself, dressed as Venus, lay under a canopy of cloth gold." (Will Durant, "Caesar and Christ").

SUNDAY

When news of this barge reached the people of Tarsus, they all came out in their Sunday best, lined both 　banks of the river to watch the wondrous sight. Pretty soon Antony was sitting in the Forum all alone. His now regiment of Roman legionnaires were at the riverbank. There was nothing left for Antony to do but to follow the crowd, and, as the barge was fastened to the pier, the crowds made way for Mark Antony.

He began by reproving her for being late, and ordered her to come to the Forum. Cleopatra, in sweet tones, suggested that they could get their business done in more pleasant surroundings on her barge. Antony’s arms being twisted, he went aboard and stayed the night.　

The next morning, he gave Cleopatra Phoenicia, Syria, the Island of Cyprus, half of Arabia, Cilicia, and all of Judea. "Call girl" Cleopatra would have given those Iloilo coffeeshop "call girls" more than what "Maw Tsetung" is giving them if they were recruited as Cleopatra’s maids.　/MP